The idea of grief and loss does not always occur around the death of another.  As humans, we may naturally experience the feelings of loss and/or grief around transitional stages in life, loss of a relationship or the grief found in the state of the world and within our own communities.  

Yet, a sudden, unexpected and traumatic loss of a loved one can be especially jarring.  Professionally, I have been honored to witness the death and transition of many patients in the Emergency Department during my 15-year stint as an Emergency Department Social Worker.  In the mix were many who died by suicide, overdose or a traumatic event.  I worked to create a space of acknowledgement for the acuity of the loss, process disbelief, intense pain, sadness, anger and numbness.  And that was only day 1 of grief.  

Society and even mental health industry standards describe grief as a short period of time in which someone “reacts” to the loss of a loved one through death.  The reality is that the bereavement process can be incredibly intense and filled with anguish, despair, heartbreak, torment and emptiness and/or loneliness.  We may experience physical sensations such as exhaustion, chest pain and nausea.  Traumatic grief is not a linear experience and can show up in waves with a sense of disorientation, a heavy weight or physical wound that cannot heal.  We may feel ungrounded, lost, questioning reality, as though our entire world has been turned upside down.  It is not uncommon to go through significant behavioral changes such as oversleeping or unable to sleep, changes in appetite, anhedonia and a withdrawal from activities and the inability to focus.